These two together do not end with exclamation mark. Europeans wonder why Russians do not go home for Christmas. Well, because usually it is actually the other way around - Russian people go to Europe for Christmas holidays. Catholic Christmas (the 25^th one) is not existent as such in Russia, not celebrated.  Having Orthodoxy as a religion of the majority, the 7^th of January is actually  acknowledged and the followed Christmas Day. But it is a less celebrated than New Year itself. The 31^st is a big day. It is rather a party thing than a family reunion; it can be both, but the party element wins. Russians simply take advantage of long vocations (official national holidays are for 10 days – form 1^st to 10^th January) and rather than drinking all the period long, they do foreign destinations. Europe is among them.

I have been reflecting how cultural the Celebrations indeed are. Having my third catholic Christmas in Europe I experience myself the emergence of Christmas from its start in the end of November with shops switching their product lines and embedding winter theme till the climax on the 25^th when roads are empty. What I can observe is how myself originally from Russia look at this holiday as something that is happening around me, but not with.  I appreciate the whole rush happening, but rather as an observer, than an active participant. Even for the 3^rd time.  What it shows (and proves) is that cultural norms and behaviors are hardwired in our minds from the very, very early age. Perceptions vary based on our heritage. And it’s great to be able to enrich your luggage with other perspectives – it is beautiful to say the least!


Photo: -12°C

Is it easy or hard to become friends abroad? Well, depends. On your personality of course a lot; on a cultural setting you are in; on amount of time you have. Here is another one – is it easier to become friends with a local person or a foreigner of a same caliber? Something tells me that most will vote for the second one. I will. Yes, the top recommendation for a better integration is to get to know local people, interact with them, go for coffee with them, drink wine with them, attend their weddings as an honored guest, go to sauna. Sounds a lot like the activities one does with friends. But there is a difference between “getting to know” and “be friends”. And a big one.

There is certainly a bond between foreigners abroad. No matter on their prior background they have one thing in common – another country. They are out of their comfort one and have most of sensations sharpened: they see, feel, sense, and hear things that are new, different.  Like Lin, main character of autobiographical Shantaram, was wondering why is he friends with his Leopold Café gang and explained that “the only thing that we had in common is that we all were strangers. It united us.” Look around you and question where your friends are from? My best friend here is American (married to a Swede though) Why is that so? Well, she is a good person, we came to Sweden almost at the same time, we shared our hate-you-love-you relationship with India, and I just love her cooking skills! 

When abroad social network is important: local and foreign. But I would go for people you click with, rather than local, or even of your own origin. About ‘your people’, from the same country – that’s a fun one because people like to categorize. Imagine you are the party or social function, you introduce yourself and as soon you interlocutor hear that you are from Russia, s/he will try remembering other Russians they know or met and might consider to introduce you just based on this piece of information. Well, not all Russians are happy to see other Russians abroad. I think I read about similar attitudes among Italians.

So, the moral is to pick up your people and stick to them (read: enjoy your time with them). Differences unite.

Scanning expat blogs I keep notice that quite a few are devoted to the differences that strike the most – be that something funny, fascinating, irritating or just weird. And of course expats like to share how they feel about it.

In Sweden a lot of things seem to be working perfectly fine, you just need to have your social security number and you are nearly perfect. What’s left - learn how the system works and you are done. Easy? It is. Or… it just makes you lazy and in order to keep busy with something you need to create some action. What’s the solution or the consequence of such a “silent mode”– a Long Lasting Decision-Making. Sounds like a weird alternative to the action, but that is where I see the routes for it.

Here, the decision, especially within the group takes a while. They call it “to be polite”, or “not to over speak someone”, or take into consideration all voices… Sure, if there is nothing else to do.

I wonder if it’s any different in Denmark…

...there is nothing to fight against, but there is no resolution without a conflict.

Is it the right one? You never now or – to put it less bluntly for over reacting ones – you might not always be too sure. But once something is not the way it should be or you expect it to be – you feel it.

Take job change or a change from work to ‘back to studies’ mode. What happens ones you are in a new environment? Right, first everything is too new and hectic (be that calm Sweden or crazy India or old school Russia). Takes time to locate yourself on the axis, understand where you are. Than, goals, experience, friends, values developed and collected over time are with you. So what happens is an imposition of one matrix to another; your framework on reality framework. Perfect when they match. If not – that’s the bitch.

Aim of science is knowledge generation, for instance. Scientific community has its own markers, values, language, understanding what leadership is – is it just a different form or even absence of it, am not sure. It feels like absence of it, because you are called a good researcher not in case you made a breakthrough discovery or innovation , but rather quite the opposite – proved something already existing with a lot of references to the past (‘in the paradigm’ they call it). I do not mind that you need to learn and take into account the past (indeed, no need to create a wheel every time), but the trick is that the logic of science and business is different. Scientific logic (want it or not) is imposed on you, that’s what I am aware of. And to remember your aims and stick to them is super important.

On one blog there was an interesting post about one-sideness with example of a father advising that in AIESEC you are becoming a one-sided person with only one goal which is too bad for your development. And there is something in the argument. You really work on a goal (develop potential, realize exchanges, sign contracts and so on), which may not be as direct as to get materialistic own villa on a Mediterranean sea cost in 5 years or simply sentimental growing old with the one you love. What AIESEC does (or empowers) is opening of boarders if you have a will for it. Which is great of course, and way not everyone have an opportunity to have such opener and you keep meeting people with loads limitations, complexes, ’want but can't’. But what it doesn’t - and you better be aware of – it doesn’t limit these boarders and you better should. Life without limits may hurt. Most likely the limitation is a for-profit-company with similar values (and similar people); your own thing with Your people (for that you need to settle down). Any other local comapany or science i doubt will work - way to go to tune yourself for it.

So, less bluntly, it’s easier, clearer with some limitations. Imposed on you or by you.

When you travel, be that short term or long, for holidays or for business, to visit or to live, you face weather change among all. I remember my first week in Mumbai – felt sick with fever and soar throat almost straight away. In Malmo things went slightly better (I learn, huh). There are few principles to follow in order to be in a good shape and enjoy a new place.

Multiple layers. Striptease or dressing show will save you from temperature fluctuations. Have something to put on or put of in a restaurant with AC, a warm office with central heating, on a windy street or in a draughty party room (you know when people go out for a smoke). Yeah, and don’t be seduced by the way local people dress – without anything on their head at -5 or a light salvar kamiz at +35 (and +20 with AC inside) – you are not form here and it takes time to get used to.

Vitamin C and hydration. Multivitamins and fresh fruits are also highly appreciated. Body needs support form inside – do yourself a favor.

Good food. It can be local food, or something you used to, or both. With local food though better be careful – remember eyes opened so wide when tried your first real biriyani? I do:) The point is not that it’s no good because too spicy, quite the opposite actually – keels the germs, but that you can’t eat enough (in the beginning at least) – and that’s the bitch. So, in the beginning makes sense to start with something familiar and push on more experimental dishes with time.

and of course Good mood. Priceless…
Be good and healthy!

It has been three month since I observe and actually take part in Swedish education system as a master student. There are certain things that I find really good working and some bottlenecks as well .

Self-motivation. It’s embedded. You have got five-seven hours of scheduled lectures or seminars; the rest are your readings or bit of group work for seminars. That’s good one hand – do what you want to in the direction that is shown. Also, you can chose various distance courses and study on-line whatever you like to add to your program. But here is the ‘ooops’ - it creates free-riders with whom you study. Ignore and focus, you can say, I would agree, though the influence is still there and Pareto Principle is applicable.
Diversity. The fact that higher education was free till this yeah for sure played a big role in brining people from all over (tuition fees will be introduced from year 2011/2012 for students not from EU/EEA or Switzerland). So, everyone can apply for studies as it was in my case. But what happens sometimes – students just come over with out any particular interest in the program, or with the intention to stay and settle (“to find Swedish wife or sometimes husband”). Not fun and counterproductive to be with this people in one group: doesn’t make any sense for both.
Competition. Absence of it. Very different people are studying together – form fresh graduates to professionals with 10+ year’s experience (do not ask what they are doing there, no clue). So how you can compete there? Plus the whole humanitarian mood doesn’t really support this idea. I am not a big fan of American approach, where you need to be on TOP (=you are a great performer and employers will pay you); Russian approach is hilarious - competition is for ‘Good marks’, but it doesn’t mean you are a great performer at all and employer will not be bothered by this fact (hence, question – what’s that for at all?)

In general, creates a feeling of underutilized time, lack of an action and an adequate social network. TED Translations are fun, as well as possibility of Internations event organization with/for expats (these are the people am interested research on anyway), but it feels like am keen on solid part-time job. Let’s see.

… or any other language, is probably one of the first questions you have learnt at a standard foreign language course for beginners. Or at school. Or kindergarten. Remember these dialogs your try with your course mate/classmate when you train various “everyday life” scenarios, for instance, like “Russian tourist at the Times Square/Русский турист на Таймс-Сквер”. Well, have you caught yourself on a feeling you have, ones you actually ask this question? And not when you are a tourist, but (permanent) temporary citizen? I did. And the point is - this question sounds tricky. It’s like “hey, you, do YOU speak English, (you fool!)”. Or the other option – you ask “Hablas Espanol/Talar du Svenska” and of course your respondent responds yes. And this time is YOU, the fool :)
… the list of the ‘first phrases’ can be continued with a respond like, “I do not speak English/Jag talar inte Svenska”. Mkay, than why you learn how to ask language abilities of someone?
… broken logic of language learning. Arsy-versy. With “arsy-versiness” since the beginning, what can the outcome be, huh?

Don't hang out with them. Never. You are not a charity NGO yourself, so keep your energy for yourself or for the ones who are on the same wave with you. Moody ones are moody and always will be. They enjoy the moodiness. Let them do it on their own.
Moody's are: negative, too scarcastic, rude, a "no possible" person,  a "maybe later" person, discriminatory racists, just racists, you name it.

Evening started at about 7 p.m. at the English pub “Green Lion” with the group of foreigners through meetup. Place was great. The Pub as it should be. Loads of different beers available: white (weed) beer, fruit beer (cherry, strawberry, etc), lager, dark; all together something like 30+ different ones. Football on the TV with no sound, decent t level of music and people talk as the main soundtrack. Atmosphere reminded me the one of Old Dublin Pub in Ekaterinburg, the Irish pub, founded by Irish man. The difference is that Irish pubs have cozier and simpler interior, feels more like home, with more wooden stuff. English version is more posh & trendy (why am not surprised..). And about stuff: bartenders and waiters I mean. Well, they were gloomy. Maybe that was due to the big crowd they had to work with (and hence concentration was important), maybe that was my perception after India, where they of course more smiley and vivid (sometimes too much) in process of making a drink and taking the order.

All together there were about 15 people from the meetup, mostly foreigners who moved to Sweden, because of work or love or job search & studies.

Than, part of the crowd moved to the other bar. And here I started to feel flashbacks from Latvia: ridiculously serious security guards almost like face control; possible visitors getting out of the taxies with very serious faces (people, you go to the bar, smile at least!).

The bar/club we ended up had scratched tables (not good), but good music (good).  DJ worked with serious face of course, but mixed music right, bartenders (girls) were great – worked with pleasure and smile, even made kind of a fire show and danced on the bar (YMCA performance in hard Rock Cafe in Mumbai can't be beaten of course). What fascinated me was a vendor of Black Jack. The way Asian looking cropier (lady) dealt the cards was alluring, very fast and professional. Was hard to stop watching. In India and Russia gambling is prohibited, and in Latvia it looked like back in Russia, when it was allowed - never created any desire to stop by. The guys who were playing were a team and they play every weekend: first in the main casino, than go to the bars. Gambling is allowed in Sweden, as long s you have a license and tables with various games can be found in most of bars, like outlets with cigarettes. This one had a dirty name - ‘Cherry casino’. I was suggested to try beginners luck, but I took my chances and told that will try some other time.

…shared taxi with Swedish brother and sister and their friend and safely found myself back home after 03:30. Good night.